Friday reminders ✍️

And as you grow up, you will lose people. You will find the ones you loved once distancing from you, and you will stop talking to the ones you called your best friends. When you meet your old classmates in a reunion, they will tell you how much you have changed, and it will be bittersweet. Maybe you will recognise the change within you, or maybe you won’t. The boundaries that you let people cross so easily before, they won’t be able to cross it anymore. Your friends will tell you that it’s not healthy drawing lines and putting a wall as if everyone is about to hurt you, but walls are there to protect yourself, too. Sometimes, they are necessary. You will find your mother complaining about how you have stopped listening to her just because you have your own opinions now. Your cousins won’t like how you can’t take a joke about yourself and the things you care about anymore; your ex won’t appreciate the way you have broken contact with them, and people will tell you often that they don’t like the person you have become. I want to let you know that it’s okay to let people think whatever they want to. When we are young and broken, we tend to let the world break us apart. For years, you have felt small and helpless. You have lived in the shadows of other people, walking on eggshells, trying not to upset anyone. Growing up is a difficult thing, but it is also the bravest thing that you will ever do. Unlearning the patterns that were so deeply woven in you, losing the person that you were all this while, and making space for a brand new version of you takes courage and unwavering discipline.

None of them know how many nights you have trembled and cried, or how freeing you felt for the first time when you said ‘no’ to the things that made you uncomfortable. They don’t know how good it makes you feel when you can speak your mind selfishly for the first time, or when you can show the parts of you that we hid so well because you were afraid that they won’t be accepted and loved. Losing these people will bring you relief, but it will also bring you some kind of grief. After all, they were the ones you once loved dearly and laughed with. They were the ones you looked forward to talking to. It’s heartbreaking to realise that you lose just as easily as you love. So when you find yourself mourning their departure from your life, I want you to remember that this, too, is another part of growing up. Like every other thing that cannot be solely explained in words, all you need to do is to accept it even if you can’t understand it now. Maybe, the people you lose during this process of healing and changing are only meant to stay with the older versions of you. I hope this brings you closure.

I hope you remember them as a memory but you find yourself moving on.

✍️ Rae Pathak , «friday reminders».

Illustration by xetaercx