👶𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏 from 𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 👪

𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏 from 𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 us. The first 𝟕 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 of a child’s life are 𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 and what 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒆 and 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 will be 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒅 into their 𝒔𝒖𝒃𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 mind. A child’s 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏 is forever developing, but by the age of 𝟓, 𝟗𝟎% of their brain will be developed. In these early years, the child’s brain is in a state almost like 𝒉𝒚𝒑𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔 and this is why they learn so fast and absorb everything. If your child is 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 later in life, 𝒂𝒔𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 – what did 𝒚𝒐𝒖 teach them in their developing years. What did they see and hear? How did you 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 your 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 or 𝒍𝒆𝒕 them 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 in front of your children?

As an 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆, children who were 𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒆𝒅 at age 𝟎-𝟒 can show behavioural 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒔 later in life. They can 𝒔𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓 from 𝒕𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒆, 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 and 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚 in childhood and into 𝒂𝒅𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅. They can become a 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 or a 𝒗𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒎 of abuse in the 𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆. If you 𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒔 at home for 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆, very often children 𝒉𝒊𝒕 animals as well. If you 𝒉𝒊𝒕 a child, that child will 𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏. You are teaching them that you 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒅𝒐 anything you 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 to 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔. You 𝒎𝒐𝒅𝒆𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒓 of a 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 rather than 𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒚 and 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕 to 𝒂𝒍𝒍.

Your 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 with your 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 will 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 children 𝒔𝒖𝒃𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚 what relationship 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 to have in the future. In the first 𝟐 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 of life, we form an 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 to our 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔. This is 𝒉𝒐𝒘 our 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒚𝒍𝒆 is shaped and can help 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕 our attachment style in 𝒂𝒅𝒖𝒍𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔. How our parents 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘 us 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 will become our 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆 in 𝒂𝒅𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅. How we 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 to our 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏 in 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔 will 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 their 𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆. If we have highly 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒄al parents, most likely we can end up with a harsh 𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒄 (inner voice).

Our 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅 has a huge 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒕 on 𝒘𝒉𝒐 we 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 in adulthood and produce what 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒇𝒔 we will be 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 to 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆.
Remember to 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 on 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇. 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒍 your 𝒐𝒘𝒏 wounds. Do 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔 your own 𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 and 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒎𝒂 to your children.

Often how we 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 our children in 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔 is 𝒉𝒐𝒘 we have 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 in similar 𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 when we were children. 𝑾𝒉𝒚? Because when we are in 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒇𝒖𝒍 situations and flooded by stress 𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 (in 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒐𝒅𝒆) our 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 part of the brain is 𝒔𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉ed 𝒐𝒇𝒇. We 𝒂𝒄𝒕 from our 𝒔𝒖𝒃𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 programs.

Self 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 is a 𝒌𝒆𝒚 of breaking the Intergenerational Trauma.
You can be a 𝒄𝒚𝒄𝒍𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒓 ❤️
Break the violence cycle!

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝙤𝙛 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬. Often when parents are old, they have grievances about their adult children such as, they don’t talk to me with respect, they scream at me, or that their children want no contact (estrangement). This is related to how parents talk and behave in frot of their children. These behaviours are then programmed into the subconscious mind and under distress are automatic behaviours in adulthood. So, if we don’t like how our adult children behave, we should look where they learned that behaviour and take responsibility. Our children are copies of us.

𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 is the way of 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 – by understanding ourselves, seeing our own 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒔 of 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒓 and 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈 when we are in 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒐𝒅𝒆. Only then we are more able to 𝒂𝒄𝒕 consciously, and not from our subconscious 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈. Self 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 and self 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 is import to 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 this pattern. 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 our𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔 and 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 false 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒇𝒔 that are 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 us from 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔. By focusing on our 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 and 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒕𝒉 we will 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 the way we parent. When we do this, our 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏 will 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 our 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆. We 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 our children 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 we are 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 or 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕and ourselves. We can’t demand specific behaviors from our children when we ourselves don’t have them. What you want to teach, you need to be a 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆 of it 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕.
By Lena Kravets

How your kids treat you when they no longer need you for food and shelter is a direct result of how you treated them when they did.

• Michelle Kenney

“Parents think why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain.”
~— 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞 🚧

“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.”
~— 𝐖. 𝐄. 𝐃. 𝐃𝐮𝐛𝐨𝐢𝐬 ♣️

Children learn by imitation.

Parents teach him gentleness and beat them; they teach him mildness of speech, and shout at him; they teach him a Stoic apathy to finance, and quarrel before him about division of their income; they teach him honesty and answer his profoundest questions with lies.

“Our children bring us up by showing us, through imitation, what we really are.” They are our Reflection.
(𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒏 𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒔) 🍂

𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭 🥀